Letter to a Student regarding Communication

Hi Kevin,

It was very nice to spend some time with you yesterday.

You asked me whether leaders all have to have excellent communication skills. I could hear the concern in your voice.

Well, a short answer is that it would certainly help a great deal.  However, it’s important to know that: 1) it’s not a requirement, contrary to what you may have heard elsewhere; and 2) you can improve your communication skills through a change of mindset and through practice.  

As we’ve studied in the Communication Workshop, some leaders are great communicators, such as Jack Ma.  Others are not, such as Elon Musk as he has admitted it himself.  In more cases, great leaders improve their communication skills along the way.  Mahatma Gandhi and Warren Buffett are great examples. 

People usually associate communication skills with how people speak. When I was young, I also thought the key was to learn and memorize all the eloquent words and phrases. I remember writing down those big words and crafty phrases in my notebook.  However, when I tried to use them, I would get flustered. I would check anxiously how people respond and dread if they would make fun of me.  Believe it or not, I was as concerned then as you are about communication. 

Would you like to know how that changed for me? 

It changed when I shifted my focus to what people communicate.  It clicked in my mind that ideas and messages mattered a lot more than words and phrases. That built up my confidence as I knew I was good at thinking through issues and coming up with ideas. I centered my energy on developing my own thoughts, ideas, and stories around topics that people talked about and words naturally poured out of me. 

Another shift that helped was when I started to see communication as a tool to help others.  I could show others a better approach, provide a different perspective, or make them laugh. Little by little, it was no longer about getting applause or not making a fool of myself; it was about helping others.  This new perspective lifted me and made communication a real joy. 

The last important piece is that I continued to practice communication over time in school, at work, and with families and friends. Practice makes perfect. You can’t excel in communication in a day, but you can get better with practice every day. 

I wish I had known all of that when I was a student.  I would have been much less concerned and I would have focused my energy on practice.  That’s why I’m teaching. 

I hope this helps.  I look forward to chatting again soon.

Ms. Madeline