Three Suggestions on Writing Personal Narratives

I discussed a couple of fundamental approaches to writing personal narratives in previous articles.  This article will reference several recent examples in my classroom and share three specific recommendations.

I.               Take mental notes as you go through experiences that influence you in some meaningful way, and it’s best if you can write them down.  Pay attention to challenges you take on, the growth you experience, ways you contribute to your communities, choices you face, friendships you build, ideas you develop, and views you believe in.  These experiences may happen within a day or span over years.  They are materials for personal essays. Collect them and practice writing about them. 

If you feel you don’t have anything to write about, it usually means that you haven’t intentionally thought through your experiences. However, it may also mean that you fall short on meaningful experiences, in which case you should throw yourself into activities and take on some worthy challenges. The earlier you realize this problem, the earlier you can remedy it. 

II.              Ask yourself why you act, feel, or think the way you do.  This is the most effective way to go deeper into your inner world. When your experiences make you feel excited, nervous, overjoyed, intrigued or proud, why do you feel that way? When you choose to engage in or stay away from certain activities, why do you do that?  Keep asking “why” and it will enable you to find deeper content and messages for your personal narrative, and it may help you find some “extraordinary” elements inside you. 

For example, one student wrote about how he finally learned to swim in the summer before entering the 7th grade. When asked why he had so much trouble learning to swim earlier, he said he had a scary incident and almost drowned in a pool when he was 5.  That fear had clung to him.  Therefore, learning to swim for him was not just about getting the techniques right; it was also about figuring out ways and gathering the inner force to conquer that fear. We all have fears and learning to conquer our fears can set us free. I suggested that he share that part of the story, shedding light on why it was such a meaningful experience of personal growth. 

III.           Get feedback from others, especially experienced grown-ups such as your mentors or your parents’ friends.  You may find it somewhat embarrassing but you’ve got to talk yourself into doing it.  When I discuss with my students their personal narratives in class, we always discover something new and exciting. Why is that? It’s actually very natural.  Maybe it’s because you are too close to yourself and know too few people to notice what’s unique about you.  Maybe it’s because it may not feel fun to self-reflect and you need a push.  Maybe it’s because you have yet to witness many life trajectories to understand how they are rooted in everyday experiences. 

For example, another student wrote about his interest in history and how he took the initiative to research the war between Finland and the Soviet Union during World War II. “It doesn’t seem I’ve presented anything special about myself,” he said.  However, we found a spark from a detail in his narrative. That particular war caught his attention when he saw the unusually high casualty count. Whereas most students would look past that number, he was shocked.  Moreover, he followed his curiosity to gather more information and to understand the causes as well as the implications. This student has a strong STEM background, and this incident offers a peek into how his numerical sense and his interest in history interact. Those two factors can develop into an “extraordinary” combination for cross-disciplinary work, which is the direction much of research is moving towards. For instance, many influential geopolitical thinkers today are scholars who can integrate economics, demographics, history, politics, and much more. 

In addition to these three recommendations, I also encourage you to learn from others’ narratives. Read autobiographies, listen to podcasts, and watch recordings of interviews with interesting people. Pay attention to how they reflect on their experiences, explain their motivations, and convey who they are. 

Follow this list of advice and your personal narratives will improve enormously, and your future application essays will have the content and depth that schools look for.  More importantly, these exercises will help you learn to examine your own thoughts, emotions, and actions so that you can understand yourself, see the sparks in yourself, find the motivations to be more engaged, and identify directions where you can channel your talents and interests.  That self-knowledge will guide you to build an extraordinary life.